do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
