im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
