he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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