She's JV to your varsity
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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