Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
