the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
