dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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