Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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