please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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