she was so not down for the gang bang
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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