I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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