He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
