Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
