I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
