if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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