thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
