the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
