90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
