I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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