Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
