The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
