I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
