I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
