oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
