Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
