So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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