yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
