R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
