I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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