He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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