can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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