Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
