Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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