Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
