The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
