i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ttyl tear gas
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
