Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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