just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
