I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
