At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it because I queefed?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
