I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
