Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
