Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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