It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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