Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
