She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
