I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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