Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am one with the molecules
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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