im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
now i know why i became what i already was.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
