it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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