he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
