My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
