Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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